"It's only breast cancer." Words I thought I'd never desire so much to hear. The results of the lung biopsy came in today and we didn't get to hear those words, not exactly. I have breast cancer cells in my lungs now. The good news is that it's a cancer they already knew was in my body and isn't a different (lung) cancer cell. So I'm supposed to be encouraged by this. I'm trying. It's hard. They tell me little will change with my treatment until the end, I'll be on a couple meds indefinitely. They haven't given me any numbers yet, I think I'm good with that. He holds the numbers anyway.
Chemo started Friday, with the exception to a couple reactions to one medication, it went okay. The staff was very much on the reaction, all seemed to have come running in seconds. It was scary, but I felt safe and well cared for.
So far, the hardest part of chemo was having to send my sick son to his grandparents because he couldn't be around me. He was miserable, didn't feel well and typically under these circumstances, he'd get extra love, snuggles and attention from me. I couldn't be around him at all. It killed me to send my crying boy away from his home, from me. I hate cancer.
Levity break: benefits of chemo
no leg hair either, yipee, smooth legs without the work
no monthly "visitor", yipee, that's a blessing, it'll likely return post chemo in case I miss it ;-)
I've been struggling with some side effects, nausea, headaches, terrible metal taste, constipation, heartburn, but overall, manageable. I have to embrace the meds they've given me to try to offset the side effects, working on that, if you know me, you know I'm not a meds girl.
And so we press on. All body parts have been scanned, we have all info to date, grateful for that part to be completed. Chemo is already killing cancer cells in my body, and we STILL trust the Father with all the details. He has this in the palm of his hand today, just like He did last month when we got the diagnosis, just like He will in the months to come, come what may. I'm grateful.
He gave me this skit guys skit today, really spoke to me, hope it encourages you to look at the big picture as a reading I did today with Joni Eareckson Tada encouraged me to,
Praying His comfort for all of us.
sets on high those who are lowly, and those who mourn are lifted to
safety.” —Job 5:11