Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Need more faith, can I borrow some of yours?

So we are at a almost a year from diagnosis, and re-walking initial steps (hopefully that is all).  During a mammogram today calcification deposits were found, which I'm told can very well be healing from my lumpectomy back in January.  Since I haven't been mammo-ed since then, they are new.  That all makes sense.  However, in light of my last year, they want to be EXTRA cautious and biopsy it/them.  I'm told that 85% of these biopsies come back just fine, so I'm believing the odds are in my favor.

When we chose not to have a mastectomy, we knew this was part of that bargain, suspicious activity that may many times be nothing.  In our minds, it's a trade off as neither road comes w/o it's struggles and challenges.  

Yesterday's bone scan is clear, thankful for that good report.  I was unable to take the PET scan as the machine broke, so that is rescheduled for 8/1. 

As I've shared before, I often view these appointment days as my assignment.  I make efforts to be friendly with fellow patients, love on caregivers and ask the Lord to use me where He has me to do His work.  He did give me a few little assignments today, and mostly I was pretty peaceful about being there, so it kind of surprised me when I got this report.  But the point in sharing that is this, the enemy WANTS us to live in worry and fear.  Because

John 10:10 New International Version (NIV)10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

 When I think about that, it infuriates me.  When I look at how much I was able to live in abundant life PRIOR to this report even this morning, with the staff, in the waiting rooms with other patients, etc. and how IF I'd been consumed by worry I wouldn't have had that to give to those around me.  It really makes me to not want to go down the road the enemy has for me.  But to instead CHOOSE to give my concerns, fears and worries to God.  Again and again.  And then some more.  

Watching the enemy steal peace from others close to me these last few months or so, it's not what I want to be crippled by.  I don't want the enemy to have ANY victory over me.   Lord please help me.  

So, I could spend the days leading up until Monday morning consumed by what the enemy has for me OR I can choose to walk toward God.  I pray I will continue to choose God's path.  Please pray that I will as well.   

He is so good to me in that He gave me a beautifully Godly nurse, who while walking me out the door today asked if I'd be okay if she added me to her prayer list.  Ha, such a lovely gift, I laughed as he lavished love on me in this moment.  Because I was feeling so sad about having to put my precious family through this once again, I asked if she could pray with me then, she happily obliged.  So grateful for Nurse Tammy.  

Thank you again for caring to read all this, for lifting me and mine to the Father and for being such amazing partners in this life.  We, again, are grateful for you.  

MUCH love, the Lindemans

 Image result for God's peace meme



Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Trepidatious Living



I had to google the definition of trepidatious to be sure it meant what I thought it did.  

  a nervous or fearful feeling of uncertain agitation :  apprehension

As a believer who seeks to walk in Victory as He has led and not in fear as the enemy does, I thought this might not be the best title.  What am I communicating with this title?  Then I remembered the name of this  blog.  Tripping the Walk.  I endeavor to walk this walk of faith well, but, being a fallen human, I do tend to mess it up each day in some special way.  Hence the tripping.  

We are driving across Kansas as I type this, last day of our annual family vacation.  My heart is full as I feel so grateful for this blessing I have enjoyed with my family.  I teeter between the dramatic sense of having escaped death and the ho-hum of everyday life.  Having known those who have walked  similar roads to mine that aren't among us today, or whom are struggling today, I realize I do have this prized GIFT of life and it's good to appreciate it so fully.    

Our trip was fantastic and full of fun, family, memories, seeing/learning  new things.  We made a great big oval in the middle of America, visited Tom's bro's family in WI, saw some Little House on the Prairie landmarks along the way, visited the Ark Encounter in Kentucky (totally recommend if you can get there, so impactful!) and the Creation Museum.  A morning along the Ohio River in downtown Cincinnati was a complete  surprise, a gift from the Father.  On the way back we stopped at Abraham Lincoln's adult hometown of Springfield, Illinois and learned much together.  Finished out the trip with old and new friends in Kansas for a pitstop and delicious breakfast.   Grateful for this opportunity to travel, have quality time with our family and make happy new memories.  Ahhhhh.....



An update on my health - I FEEL amazing.  Mostly healed up from surgery and radiation, a little tender, so gentle hugs are still necessary and running doesn't feel great yet, but otherwise good.  I have a small handful of lingering side affects to manage, we are praying for approval for a somewhat  new procedure to help with one of them.  If you feel so led, please join us in praying for favor with insurance.   I do have a new set of regular scans July 11, will be at the Rose campus much of that day.  Anyone feeling like some girlfriend time is welcome to join me if you'd like ;-)  Lunch is on me.  

Back in May, Tom and I signed up  to host a foreign exchange student from Japan.  He'll be arriving July 23 and stay for 3.5 weeks.  Yuta is a 12 y.o. boy who will celebrate his 13th bday while with us.  We are excited to learn much about Japan from him and welcome him to our home/family.  
Agreeing to host an exchange student and making reservations for a vacation felt like the first big decisions we had made post cancer that seemed we were "returning" to everyday life.  It felt a little scary to step out this direction after the trauma this disease gave us for a good 9 months or so, but it's right.  And good.  To live fully the life He's granted and to walk in it.  Truly full hearts.   

We still talk about the impact this trial has made, would feel wrong to pretend it never happened.  He has something for each member of our family to learn and grow in through cancer.  Moving forward as we minister to others, it's how we can link our pain.  I can't say I'd ever choose it again, given the choice, as I sometimes hear others reflect on their trials.  None of us has the luxury of going backward, so we purpose to use it however He chooses just the same. And though I wouldn't maybe choose it again, I do trust He allowed it for His plan and purposes.  So I rest in that.

Again, we are grateful for your kind prayers.  If you would please join us in praying for clean scans and for favor with insurance for the procedure we pray will help me, if it's His will.   And if not, for another solution.  Thank you all for your friendship and love for each of us, we remain appreciative for each of you.  

MUCH love, the Lindemans