Need more faith, can I borrow some of yours?

So we are at a almost a year from diagnosis, and re-walking initial steps (hopefully that is all).  During a mammogram today calcification deposits were found, which I'm told can very well be healing from my lumpectomy back in January.  Since I haven't been mammo-ed since then, they are new.  That all makes sense.  However, in light of my last year, they want to be EXTRA cautious and biopsy it/them.  I'm told that 85% of these biopsies come back just fine, so I'm believing the odds are in my favor.

When we chose not to have a mastectomy, we knew this was part of that bargain, suspicious activity that may many times be nothing.  In our minds, it's a trade off as neither road comes w/o it's struggles and challenges.  

Yesterday's bone scan is clear, thankful for that good report.  I was unable to take the PET scan as the machine broke, so that is rescheduled for 8/1. 

As I've shared before, I often view these appointment days as my assignment.  I make efforts to be friendly with fellow patients, love on caregivers and ask the Lord to use me where He has me to do His work.  He did give me a few little assignments today, and mostly I was pretty peaceful about being there, so it kind of surprised me when I got this report.  But the point in sharing that is this, the enemy WANTS us to live in worry and fear.  Because

John 10:10 New International Version (NIV)10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

 When I think about that, it infuriates me.  When I look at how much I was able to live in abundant life PRIOR to this report even this morning, with the staff, in the waiting rooms with other patients, etc. and how IF I'd been consumed by worry I wouldn't have had that to give to those around me.  It really makes me to not want to go down the road the enemy has for me.  But to instead CHOOSE to give my concerns, fears and worries to God.  Again and again.  And then some more.  

Watching the enemy steal peace from others close to me these last few months or so, it's not what I want to be crippled by.  I don't want the enemy to have ANY victory over me.   Lord please help me.  

So, I could spend the days leading up until Monday morning consumed by what the enemy has for me OR I can choose to walk toward God.  I pray I will continue to choose God's path.  Please pray that I will as well.   

He is so good to me in that He gave me a beautifully Godly nurse, who while walking me out the door today asked if I'd be okay if she added me to her prayer list.  Ha, such a lovely gift, I laughed as he lavished love on me in this moment.  Because I was feeling so sad about having to put my precious family through this once again, I asked if she could pray with me then, she happily obliged.  So grateful for Nurse Tammy.  

Thank you again for caring to read all this, for lifting me and mine to the Father and for being such amazing partners in this life.  We, again, are grateful for you.  

MUCH love, the Lindemans

 Image result for God's peace meme



Comments

  1. Yes! Thank you for sharing with us on your journey. :-) Good words for me today. Love ya. Bekah Lind

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  2. As always, I enjoy your blog so very much! Your family vacation sounded so wonderful. You always plan the best things to do with your family. You all looked like you were having a great time.

    So sorry, you have to go through more waiting with tests, etc. Your faith has grown mine...
    Your story is a lesson on walking with our Lord, day by day. I continue my prayer for you and your sweet family.

    I am sorry I have kept your Cancer book so long. I finally got it read and enjoyed it a lot. I ordered copies for two friends that have cancer and know it has been a blessing to them.
    Our summer has been busy but not every day so let me know if you need a listening ear, a walking companion, or help with the kids...hopefully I can fit it in.. I can return you book then or sooner if you need it. Let me know.
    Love and continuing prayers!
    Beth T

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