"It's only breast cancer."  Words I thought I'd never desire so much to hear.  The results of the lung biopsy came in today and we didn't get to hear those words, not exactly.  I have breast cancer cells in my lungs now.    The good news is that it's a cancer they already knew was in my body and isn't a different (lung) cancer cell.  So I'm supposed to be encouraged by this.  I'm trying.  It's hard.  They tell me little will change with my treatment until the end, I'll be on a couple meds indefinitely.  They haven't given me any numbers yet, I think I'm good with that.  He holds the numbers anyway. 


Chemo started Friday,  with the exception to a couple reactions to one medication, it went okay.  The staff was very much on the reaction, all seemed to have come running in seconds.  It was scary, but I felt safe and well cared for.  

So far, the hardest part of chemo was having to send my sick son to his grandparents because he couldn't be around me.  He was miserable, didn't feel well and typically under these circumstances, he'd get extra love, snuggles and attention from me.  I couldn't be around him at all.  It killed me to send my crying boy away from his home, from me.  I hate cancer. 

Levity break: benefits of chemo
no leg hair either, yipee, smooth legs without the work
no monthly "visitor", yipee, that's a blessing, it'll likely return post chemo in case I miss it ;-)

I've been struggling with some side effects, nausea, headaches, terrible metal taste, constipation, heartburn, but overall, manageable.  I have to embrace the meds they've given me to try to offset the side effects, working on that, if you know me, you know I'm not a meds girl.  

And so we press on.  All body parts have been scanned, we have all info to date, grateful for that part to be completed.  Chemo is already killing cancer cells in my body, and we STILL trust the Father with all the details.  He has this in the palm of his hand today, just like He did last month when we got the diagnosis, just like He will in the months to come, come what may.  I'm grateful.

He gave me this skit guys skit today, really spoke to me, hope it encourages you to look at the big picture as a reading I did today with Joni Eareckson Tada encouraged me to,

 https://skitguys.com/videos/item/gods-chisel-abridged

Praying His comfort for all of us. 



“He sets on high those who are lowly, and those who mourn are lifted to safety.”   —Job 5:11

WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I'm shouting and I'm happy to be doing it.

3 pieces of good news today, didn't think I'd get any news until Friday a.m.

Genetics test-no genetic markers for any additional concerns for breast cancer.

Brain MRI-clean, no signs of cancer

Bone Scan-clean, no signs of cancer

SO thankful!

We are scheduled at 10 a.m. tomorrow for one of the many spots on my lung to be needle biopsied, guided by a CT scan.  I'll be sedated for this procedure.  Pray that they will be able to get the sample, sometimes they can't manuever in there.  Pray that the spots are just an anomaly of living in the SW United States, something my oncologist said does occur.  Or if is cancerous, that we'll have what we need to handle the hurdle. 

Oh so good to be able to share good news!  Thank you Jesus!

 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  James 1:17

GREAT is thy faithfulness.  What a great song.  What a great truth.

I know many of you are wanting an update, so here you are,

Met with the oncologist this a.m.  He ordered a brain MRI and a bone scan so we can have all the possible knowledge about any cancer anywhere else in my body.  Please pray for negative results on these tests, results should be in tomorrow.  I did both those tests today.

This Friday, I have a CT guided needle biopsy scheduled from 8-11 a.m.  Pray these results are negative, but also that they are able to get the sample they need as this is a very tricky procedure from the way I understand it. 

Chemo may begin next week. 

I think I get 2 days off of medical junk, so that'll be nice. 

Today, I saw God in the amazingly nice people who help.  Each person I have encountered has been helpful, compassionate, caring and a true blessing.  From the scheduler who had to work hard  to get my tests booked for today, while I was there and getting the insurance approvals to, to the techs.  Amazing.  Also grateful God coordinated these things.  My sweet friend took the kids to the Museum of Nature and Science today and they had a blast and watched a cool Imax on National Parks (I'm a little jelly).  They were well cared for again today, thank you God. 

And so we wait, and we pray and we trust, thank you for joining us.  We are grateful for YOU!


“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”   —Lamentations 3:22-23

PLEASE SHARE THIS POST.   Knowledge is critical.

My diagnosis story is very uncharacteristic of what most expect.  I've shared this with some of you, but feel compelled to share it with all, and hope you, also, will share it.  My story could have gone differently had I known more.

In April of this year, I began to find my right "girl" was seeming larger than the left one.  Out of nowhere.  It also seemed "thicker" and denser/heavier.  So I went in to have it looked at.  I was told that it seemed "circulatory" and since she thought it was normal after stimulating, all felt fine to her.  She recommended I go in for my routine mammogram since it'd been 1.5 years and I was opting to go with the every 2 years recommendation.  So I did.  She made a point to recommend to me to NOT mention any concerns I had as she didn't have any and she didn't want me to be billed for a "diagnostic mammo" over a "routine mammo".  She was trying to save us money, and she legitimately had no concerns, I understood and was happy to go that route since I didn't want there to be any concerns.

At my "routine mammo" April 28, I was offered an option to upgrade my test for $40 for a 3D option.  Because there was a lingering doubt, I went with it.  Sadly, nothing showed up.  I have fibrous breasts that don't image well I'm told, which basically means that it's more difficult to see concerns for me. 

When June came and not much had changed, I began wondering about a 2nd opinion.  Then I read this article on facebook,

http://www.goodhousekeeping.co.za/en/diet-health/breast-awareness-month-save-yourself/

and I knew, I had to go in for a 2nd opinion right away, a couple of those items were present in me, enlarged size, thick, dense and orange peel appearance.  Tom agreed.

The PA who saw me July 5 told me she was concerned and that she was ordering a "diagnostic mammo" (which is a mammo on zoom essentially), an ultrasound and, if indicated, a biopsy.  That occurred two weeks later on July 19.  It was determined a mass was directly behind my nipple (sorry for graphic-ness, but again, knowledge is power)  I never did feel it and was encouraged to "leave it alone" which I have done to this day. A biopsy was ordered and done in less than a week, Monday, July 25.  July 26th, we were told the results were positive for malignancy in both the lymph node and the mass.  And thus began our Breast Cancer.

I harbor no ill feelings toward my initial provider, I do believe she did the best she could for me at that moment, I didn't feel rushed through, I felt she cared, and really thought she was thorough.   I do wish, however, I'd been given more instruction than I was, things to keep on the lookout for, when to return if things didn't improve after I'd switched out my bras (she recommended no underwire).   This article would have been a great take away. 

The ENTIRE point of this post is to say that we have to be educated about what to look for in our bodies, more than a lump.  The list on the Good Housekeeping article had many things to look for, thankfully I saw it.  Again, please share with others.  Ignorance isn't bliss, knowledge saves lives. 

Mt. Cancer has gotten larger, but GOD IS STILL BIGGER!!!! 

Yesterday, we got the PET scan results the same day I did the scan.  We need extra courage, extra faith and extra Jesus here folks, please pray for those things for us.  There are some spots on my lungs that have to be looked at further, we should learn early next week how they plan to do that. 

The oncologist says we have to know what they are before we can start chemo, so that may be on hold. 

Needless to say, this one has really brought Tom and I to our knees, again....    The verse below is our goal, but to be honest, we are struggling.



“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”   —Psalm 23:4

Climbing Mt. Cancer.  That's how I'm going to view this process.  Tom, the kids and I and a precious friend, Tina,  climbed what was my and Tina's first ever 14-er (a mountain over 14,000 feet in altitude).  It's an incredible goal a really big achievement and something I wasn't so sure I had in me to do.  So as we embarked on this task, we searched the web for "beginner 14ers"  we researched locations,  read tips, plans, important advice to follow, and we were prepared.  But not really.  Because in all our research, we somehow missed that doing this in early June, after a particularly snowy spring was ill-advised.  Our beginner 14er became an advanced 14er.  We trailblazed most of it as the "trail" was unable to be found, likely b/c it was buried in snow.  BUT WE DID IT, in 11ish hours, we did it.  And I believe it was one of the many ways the Lord prepared me for where I am today.  It seemed literally insurmountable BUT WE DID IT.   This cancer thing feels the same, BUT WE'LL DO IT.  Thankful for His preparations for me.  So thankful.

Our family vacationed the month before when I began to read a very meaningful book, Ann Voskamps 1000 Gifts. http://onethousandgifts.com/the-book

 Another precious friend, Alyssa, gifted that to me a year or so before, but I'd not yet picked it up.  The abbreviated version is this, God has placed before us each day gifts all around us.  Nature, beauty, the sweetness of people toward each other, a favorite song, delicious food, flowers, seeing your favorite color, you get the idea.  If we spend our days not seeing the blessings/gifts He's so lavishly put before us, we're not living the abundant life He's provided us.  So while postholing for what felt like the gazillionth time, (http://hiking.about.com/od/Hiking-Glossary/g/What-Is-Postholing.htm)  He gave me little reminders of His love, a ladybug on the snowy bank, a wildflower on the outer edge.  Weather that was PERFECT the entire day to include that the storms were held back,  something we'd read about in our research could have been a real danger.  He was WITH us in our difficult hike, but because, after all, we'd put ourselves there, He didn't take it away.  He did, however provide reminders that He was with us.  Had I not read this book, I don't know how aware I'd have been.  Thankful. 

And so I continue to see the blessings while trekking Mt. Cancer, amazing caregivers everywhere I turn, a PET scan my 2nd oncologist fought to get approved for me when the 1st oncologist was told no, a relatively painless port procedure, my  daughter Kay's culinary skills providing a delicious nutritious meal when we got home early from the surgery.  The meal was provided for FREE from Green Chef as won for me by my new friend Camilla.  My friend MiChelle providing me unlimited medical questions/queries and appointments.  My mom going with me and nursing me back to health and wholeness after surgery.  Thankful and blessed. 

The current Mt. Cancer plans, getting closer to the summit with each one are as follows,
Thurs-PET Scan to determine if cancer is elsewhere in my body.  Praying not, but His will be done.
Tues-1st Chemo session, Tom will go with me, another blessing, his job and banked sick time.  Pray that goes smoothly please.



“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”   —Deuteronomy 31:8
 

Here are the details for the Care Calendar Kimmi set up for us.  

To access Rosanna Lindeman's CareCalendar site, visit http://www.carecalendar.org/logon/240697 and enter the following information in the appropriate spaces:

     Calendar ID   :   240697

     Security code :   1794

Silly me.

Thinking I could have any semblence of control over any of this.

We met with 2 sets of breast docs and oncologists, sorta as teams.  Today was the final consult with the oncologist we're going with.  Glad that's all finished.  He, however, changed the sequence of events BACK to what it was last week before we met the new breast surgeon on Tues who changed it.  And I'm over it.  Thing is I don't really care what sequence any of this happens in, don't really want any of it, but getting used to one idea of doing say chemo 1st, then surgery to have that changed up and then changed up again, ugh, it's a roller coaster.  I'd like off now please.  I guess that's going to happen as long as I don't have any 3rd or 4th opinions, which is not in the plans.  We feel confident we are in the best place for our care for this disease.

So, the new plan.

-Port placement Tues afternoon
-chemo starts Tues 8/23 for 4ish months
-surgery will be early in 2017
-radiation will follow

still don't know what we are doing for surgery or re-construction yet, and, thankfully, that decision doesn't have to be made yet.  unless that changes too...  (sorry, BIG pity party here, forgive and pray if you feel so led)

Have a full day of appts Monday but I'm told that this part is on the downhill side too, which I have to say is pretty nice to think about too, will make schooling and life a bit simpler.  Thankful.

Kids are having some ups and downs too this week, but are muddling thru.  If you see them and feel the Lord leading, extra hugs would be appreciated.  We had a teary night last night, but prayerfully good healing is happening in that too.

Thankful we don't live the in the stix where we'd have to travel hours for our treatment.  Thankful for medical professionals, researchers and all the support staff.  Thankful for an amazing, engaged-in-this-battle husband.  Thankful for my beautiful, healthy, bickery children.   Thankful for amazing friends/family who are so sweetly stepping into our mess with a happy heart.  Thankful.  (and a little grumpy, c'mon have to be honest here, right?!)  But really, truly, mostly thankful.  Thank YOU for taking the time to read/care/pray/be there. 



“Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant.”   —Psalm 119:76